Shiv' ah (שבעה héb. for " sept") is the name of the period of mourning observed in the Judaïsme by seven categories of people during one week from the death of a person to which these people are related with the first degree.
The related ones with the first degree
It acts:- of the father,
- of the mother,
- of the son,
- of the girl,
- of the brother,
- of the sister,
- of the spouse
Il exists much of rules concerning Shiv' ah, creating a great interruption in the daily routine. Their goal is to honor it dead, on the one hand, and on the other hand, to allow endeuillé to live its traumatism in all its dimension, in order to enable him to overcome this loss thereafter.
Rules of Shiv' ah
Once turned over burial, the related ones with the first degree take the statute d'" Avelim " . This statute hard during seven days (if endeuillé at his place before laying down it sun turns over, this day is regarded as the seven day old first), during which the family members gather in a house, and receive the visitors, spending these days sitting with same the ground or on uncomfortably low chairs to cry their late: three days to cry it, four days to remind its merits in this world.
Les following activities is prohibited:
- They cannot carry out any form of work except the kitchen and the cleaning of the house (and in the only case where nobody of other can do it). That naturally includes the professional occupations, engagements, etc.
- They cannot carry leather shoes.
- They cannot have sexual relation.
- They cannot study the Torah, except learning the laws from mourning, reciting Psaumes, to read the Livre of Job or the Livre of the Lamentations.
- They cannot greet anybody (" bonjour" , " goodbye " , and especially not " Shalom "), but after the first three days, they can answer those which ask for news of their health to them.
- They do not wash their clothing, do not pass by again them, and do not wear clean clothes.
- They can sit down only on cushions, mattresses or chairs of less than 30 cm in height.
- They cannot leave the house, except going to the synagog to Shabbat or leaving their house late the night (if they have evil to sleep in the place where Shiv' ah is held).
- They cannot shave, to cut the hair, nor the nails during 30 days (included there seven days of Shiv' ah).
- They cannot take part in merry occasions for 30 days, or 12 months if it is one their parents whom they lost. However, they are authorized to attend with the marriage or a Brit milah of their own child, including during Shiv' ah.
With the funeral, endeuillés traditionally carry out a tear in an external clothing ( qeri' ah ), who is not repaired throughout shiv' ah . An alternative at the not-orthodoxe Jews is to pin a ribbon black, torn and carried all the period. In certain communities, it is of habit to cover the mirrors in the house for the period of Shiv' ah.
Holy Shabbat and days
Shiv' ah lasts one week, it is thus obligatory that a Shabbat is included there. In Shabbat, Shiv' ah continues, but on a more private mode, removing the external signs by respect for the saint day: endeuillés can wear clean clothing, leather shoes, consume meat and wine and occupy their usual place with the synagog. Nevertheless, they cannot wash, read the Bible, or to have marital reports/ratios.In addition, if the death occurs with Shabbat, the burial is pushed back at Sunday, as well as the beginning of mourning.
Contrary to Shabbat, the entry of a festival puts an end to the period mourning of Shiv' ah: if somebody dies and is buried before Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippour, Soukkot, Pessa' H or Shavouot, the entry of the festival puts an end to this first period of mourning, as if endeuillé had respected Shiv' ah. It however is allowed to emit some discrete demonstrations: for example, endeuillés will not revêteront a white with Pessa' h. If the burial occurs during a festival, the beginning of the period of mourning awaits the end of the festival. In the communities of the Diaspora, where the last day of the festival is a second day of additional Yom Tov , this day counts like the first day of Shiv' ah, even if mourning in public does not start before the end of Yom Tov.
'Hanoukka, Pourim and 'Hol HaMoëd is not regarded as feastdays. On the other hand, they have a statute equivalent to Shabbat, in what the demonstrations external of mourning are attenuated.
Habits for the friends of endeuillés
The support for endeuillés is regarded not only as one act of 'hessed (generosity, love,…) but also like a very large Mitzvah (literally " prescription" , but here, " pleasant act with the Eternal), larger still than the visit with the patients, because it makes it possible to honor at the same time it dead and the vivants.Après the burial, he is of habit which the friends and neighbors prepare a Seoudat Havra' ah for Avelim. This meal, usually made bread, eggs boiled, etc, is the first which they eat of Shiv' ah.
During seven days following, the mitzvah extends to visit endeuillés. However, it is preferable to do it after the third day: the sorrow of endeuillés is so intense the first three days that they cannot really be consolidated, if not by the core of very close friends and family.
Beaucoup of communities is arranged with a Hevra kaddisha so that its members organize the meals for endeuillés and serves as coolings to the visitors. So offices of prayer are organized in the house of mourning, it is of habit that one endeuillé adult officiates the prayer when it of it is able (in the orthodoxe communities, this obligation and honor are allocated only to the adult men).
At the time of the visit, it is unacceptable to greet endeuillé. One must wait until this one invites you to start the conversation and to try to comfort it. There is nothing " conseillé" or " déconseillé" to say, but it is often better, rather than speaking, to encourage endeuillé to speak, he for of often feels the need. One absolutely should not inform him of facts, had one to find them important (" Your forever desired father to speak to you about it, but he would have meant etc." to you; , " A little before its death, your brother informed me of… " , " She had asked me to await her death to say to you that…).
One often speaks to him about the missing, experiments passed, accounts of its life, of which it neither prohibited nor is advised that they are amusing. However, mourning (" should not be relativized; he does not suffer plus" , " he would not like to see you like ça" etc) or to make it forget (" think of alive now: think of your wife, your children,…), simply to state that one is there for them where necessary, and especially, to leave it Aix promises which one makes.
During the visit, it is also necessary to know to leave when it is felt that endeuillé need has to be alone.
Il is never necessary to say to one endeuillé " asseoir" , it is a recall of its state of mourning, which it passes precisely sitted.
Lorsqu' one leaves, it is to better avoid the formulas of greetings, and to prefer the formula of consolation to them: HaMaqom yena' hem etkhem betokh she' rear avelei Tzion vi' Yroushlayim (Can the Place to comfort you within endeuillés of Sion and Jerusalem).
To the seventh day of Shiv' ah, after one moment of mourning, one says to endeuillés of " lever" , sign for them that Shiv' ah is finished. They can from now on wash, change their clothing and owe " to start again with vivre".
After Shiv' ah
The shiv' ah completed, the activities return gradually to the normal. Endeuillés continue to recite the Kaddish endeuillés at the time of the synagogaux offices during 1 month (11 for a relative), and it exists restrictions compared to the festivities and occasions merry, in particular where music is played.En much of orthodoxe communities, only the men are encouraged to recite the kaddish endeuillés, and if there are no male parents of endeuillé, one calls upon a not-related man (but to in no case with a woman). However, this practice (to call upon a not-related man) is discouraged not only in the not-orthodoxe communities, but in a growing number of orthodoxe communities themselves.
It is traditional to visit fall it at the seventh day from Shiv' ah, like at the thirtieth day. Funeral praises ( hesped ) there are known as. If the seventh day of Shiv' ah fall Shabbat, one waits the following day to visit fall it.
Sources
- Chief rabbi Jacques Ouaknin, " The immortal heart. Precis of the laws and habits of mourning in the judaïsme" , editions Bibliophane-Daniel Radford 2002, published with the assistance of the Consistory of Paris ISBN 2-86970-059-8
- Rav Alfred J. Kolatch, " Delivers it Jewish Why? " , translated by Dr. A. Kokos, Collection Knowledge,
- Volume I editions MJR 1990 ISBN 2-88321-002-0
- Tome II editions MJR 1996 ISBN 2-88321-018-7
- Sitting Shiv' ah in the Judaica Guides
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