Party Rhinoceros

The Left Rhinoceros Canada , also known under the name of Left Rhino , was a recorded political party, with the Canada, years 1960 at the years 1990, functioning in the Canadian tradition of political Satire. The basic creed of the party of Rhinoceros was “never not to hold its electoral promises”, although in fact, he more often promised rather impossible arrangements conceived to amuse and offer an entertainment to the voter S.

The Rhino party was established in 1963 by the doctor Jacques Ferron, a author famous souverainist, declared “Eminence of Large the Corne of the Rhinocéros party”. It would have taken as a starting point the play of Eugene Ionesco. In the decade of 1970, a group of artists joined the party in order to create a comic political platform to dispute the federal election. Ferron (1979), the Poet Gaston Miron (1972) and the Chanteur Michel Rivard (1980) presented their candidature against the Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in the district of Mount-Royal, with Montreal.

The party, which claimed to be the downward spiritual one of Cacareco, a Rhinocéros Brésil IEN which had been elected Maire of São Paulo in the past, selected Cornélius the Prime Minister, an rhinoceros of the zoo of Granby (in the east of Montreal), as a chief. The party claimed that the rhinoceros is recognized like a Symbole adapted for a political party, since the Politicien S are, by their nature, “with thick Peau, moves slowly, has low intellect, can move very quickly when they are in danger and have large hairy horns pushing in the middle of their faces”.

Political platform

Bryan Gold described the platform of the Rhino party as of two feet top and being made out of wood. “My platform is that on which I am held. ”

The members of Rhinos promised also to break each promise (a board of platform which, according to them, was copied and put at execution by the traditional parties) and promised, so elected, to require one immediately recounts votes.

The promises contained in the platform of the party of Rhinoceros included:

To abolish the law of the Revolved.
To reduce speed of light because it goes too much quickly.
To pave the province of the Manitoba to create the greatest parking of the world.
To provide a higher education to the Canadians by building higher school S.
To institute the English, the French and the Illiteracy like the three Official languages of Canada.
To offer to recycle the voters who want to become illiterate by registering them in an educational establishment of State.
To demolish the Rocky Mountains so that the voters of the Alberta can see laying down it sun of the Pacifique, or to move them of one meter towards the west like creation project of employment.
To legalize the “pot”. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils.
To build roads and cycle tracks inclined through the country, so that the Canadians can freely “roll from side by side” (NDT " coast from coast to coast").
To put an end to the crisis energy, by reducing the transport costs by moving the towns of Montreal of 50 km towards the west and Toronto of 50 km towards the east.
To remove the pumping of the Oil of the ground because this oil is there to make it possible the Ground to move on its axis and that if you withdraw oil, the whole thing will stop.
Abolir the Environnement because it is too difficult to keep it clean and that it takes too much space.
To annex the the United States, which would take seat like third territory (after the Yukon and the Territoires of the North-West) of Canada, in order to raise the average Température of Canada of a Degree Celsius.
To replace the Canadian armed forces by clones of Vladislav Tretiak.
To make gum balloune the new national currency, so that one can make of it the Inflation or Déflation at will.
Créer a Moustique which is born only in January so that “câline curses it dies of cold”.
To close the Street Holy-Catherine of Montreal to make of it the longest alley of skittles in the world.
To adopt the British system of the control of the left side; this having to be created gradually, in five years, while starting with the large heavy trucks initially, then buses, and small cars and bicycles in any last.
to save energy, to put large wheels at the back of any car so that they always roll while descending a slope.
To sell the Canadian Senate at the market of bidding of antiquities in California.
To put the national Debt on a chart Visa.
To declare the war with the Belgium because a Belgian character of Cartoon, Tintin, killed a Rhinocéros in one of the albums.
To offer to put an end to the Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivers a box of mould S and a Belgian case of Bière to “district postpones” Rhinoceros of Montreal. (What did the Ambassade of Belgium with Ottawa).
To indicate maritime coastal limits of Canada in Painting so that the Canadian Poisson S know where they are constantly.
To count the Thousand-Islands to make sure that none is absent.
To present the candidature of a Mr Malignant Ted “not so” (Ted " not so" Sharp) in the district of Flora MacDonald under the slogan “fauna, instead of Flora”, promising to give to fauna the equal Representation. The platform of Ted on the discussed question of the Avortement “so was straightforwardly elected, I promise never to make me an abortion”.
To present more than one candidature by District, because the Salaire of a member of the Parlement must certainly be more than to support enough more than one person.
To exploit the Acid rain like electric energy source while placing electrode S of dissimilar metals in the Canadian swimming pools in order to employ them like piles or batteries.
To make the Canadians stronger by putting steroids in water.
To prohibit the terrible Winter S Canadian.
To move the the Vatican with Saint-Bruno-with-Montarville to promote tourism.
To build a giant mirror on the River the St. Lawrence so that the inhabitants of the town of Quebec see at which Quebec point beautiful is seen of Lévis.
To transform the Tunnel free Louis-Hippolyte-Lafontaine into lava-car by boring holes with the ceiling.
To roll asphalt the winter not to break it.
To replace the water of the feeding troughs by orange juice.
To wrap the Alberta in plastic to study the greenhouse effect.
To make a basement finished in Quebec by raising it with cranes with the top of the Ontario.
To build a bridge of macramé energy of Montreal to Quebec (city).
To build a going bridge of the island Jesus with southern bank of the St-Laurent passing over the island of Montreal.
To offer a pin to the island of Grenade.
To open more the area of the Saguenay to the new arrivals to make so that its Family tree either more than one trunk.
To eliminate the hunger and obesity by giving the large ones to eat with the poor.
To asphalt the bottom of the Lake St-Jean so that the hooks arrètent to cling in the content
And the promise which summarizes all the promises: not to respect any promise.

Others

In Colombia-British, a similar group proposed to present the candidature of a professional Dominatrice for the position of person in charge of discipline political of the party (an English word game on the expression " party whip") to give up the colonial party of the province by re-electing the " British Columbia " " Land" and proposed to amalgamate with the preserving party not to divide the idiotic vote.

In spite of obvious temptation to prohibit the Winter, the party Rhinoceros forever successful to make elect Parliamentary S, but in 1984, the party was the fourth political party of Canada of full number of the received voices. It was sometimes in second place in certain districts, humiliating the traditional Canadian parties of the process. At the time of the election of 1980, for example, a Clown professional candidate of the party Rhinocéros called Chatouille (Sonia Side) obtained the second place (behind the liberal candidate) and almost twice more voice than André Payette, a popular organizer of radio which was presented for the Parti progressist-conservative of Canada.

Néorhino party

In 2006, some former members of the Rhinocéros party created a new political party, the Néorhino Party, which wants to be the successor of the late Rhinocéros party.

The party was rested by François Yo Gourd, who was implied in the Rhinocéros party. He affirmed that the name of the party comes from its affiliation with the late party rhino and from Néo, the character in the film the Matrix.

At the time of the by-election of September 17th, 2007, it will be presented in the district of Outrement while Christian Vanasse alias Christian " Willie" Winnowed (in the honor of Willie Lamothe), member of the political group of humor Zapartistes will present itself in the district of St-Hyacinthe-Bagot while promising, inter alia, to carry out the independence of St-Hyacinthe, of to make a free and autonomous republic in Montérégie and to bring back the diaspora maskoutaine to St-Hyacinthe in addition to adopting Yamaskash (joke compared to the Yamaska river) like currency of this new republic.

Its principal promise, like its predecessor, is not to hold any promise so elected. Among the other promises, there is that to remove the weapons of the soldiers to replace them by rifles with painting, to repaint Havana, to build a large fabric to close again the hole of the Couche of ozone, to give the right to vote with the Canadian dogs and cats, to build a wall to block the the St. Lawrence to find the Mer of Champlain and to build a roof with the top it Quebec and to put a forest at it to filter our pollution.

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