The family mediation is a tool with the service of the families in order to restore or preserve the family ties and/or to prevent the consequences of a possible dissociation of the family group.

It rests on a voluntary step of the family S which request it in order to answer installations of the daily newspaper which appear necessary to them but whose methods of development remain difficult.

Proposed to the parents eager initially to maintain their roles parental beyond separation, the family mediation is addressed today to the family in her diversity: parents, children, grandparents, phratries, families recomposed… concerning separation, succession, the assumption of responsibility of elderly and/or dependant…

The Mediator family, third impartial, not judging, offers, during confidential talks, a transitional space of dialog, listening, mutual respect and dialog. The family mediation constitutes a means for each one of being an actor of the decisions which will be made there, to know his rights, duties and responsibilities, in order to work out together solutions and agreements which meet the needs for the family.

The family mediation takes part of an interprofessional concern of support and accompaniment to the parentality, in particular with regard to for the child the maintenance of the bonds with his/her two parents, beyond their separation.

Family mediation in France

The emergence of the family mediation in France

The family mediation was built with national authorities such as the Association for the Promotion of the Family Mediation (APMF), and the National federation of the Family Mediation (FENAMEF) which federates the activities of the promoters of family mediation such as association Parent-Child-Mediation in Montpellier declared among the very first ones in beginning at the beginning of 1989. This association had deposited a petition on the European Parliament in December 1988, in the mobility of S.O.S Children of the divorce which is in the beginning, with the support of the Fédération of the Movements of the Paternal Condition FMCP, the suppression of word " garde" in the civil code French in July 1987.

The petition of S.O.S Children of the divorce, in agreement with the requests for many associations in France, asserted the establishment of the joint parental authority for the benefit of all the children, whatever the matrimonial statute of the parents. She proposed in particular that a study is carried out in favor of the widening of the recourse to the family mediation on all the territories of the European Community.

The professionalisation

Associations of family mediation required a recognition by the French State of their speciality. The family mediators graduate by the State exert mainly within the structures related to State (subsidized associations, CIF, UDAF…). The diploma of State of family Mediator (DEMF) - Niv. II. - Decree n° 2003-1166 of December 2nd, 2003 was created and was the subject of disputes, in particular by the professional Chambre of the mediation and the negotiation, because of the segmentation which it implies, whereas the mediation requires of transverse competences and the induced connotation of cultural and legal preference.

The DEMF disputed by the professionals of the mediation

Following its gathering on October 20th, 2007, the professional Room of the mediation and negotiation request the abrogation of the diploma of State of family mediator (DEMF), being based on its observations quoted previously. It is indicated: the Professional Room of the Mediation and the Negotiation, underlines the sectoral character and with cultural connotation of the diploma of State de Médiateur Family. In the particular context which is the mediation, the delivery of a diploma under the aegis of the State indicates a cultural preference prejudicial with the spirit even of the mediation. In addition, by this “specialized” diploma which frames a field of the difficulties and conflicts between people, the total treatment of certain situations, whose family dimension is only one aspect, is seen compromised. Consequently, she asks the abrogation of the decree of December 2nd, 2003 and the R451-66 articles R451-72 of the code of the social action and the families instituting this diploma.

Formations

Approved universities set up initial trainings and continuing educations (D.U of mediation, Master…) either general practitioners or specialized out of family matter. The professional Room of the mediation and the negotiation recommends the formations general practitioners and behaviorists on the mediation. In this direction, she proposes a diploma, the training certificate with the profession of mediator, CAP' M, opened with diversity, promoting a philosophical and behaviorist approach natural persons and morals.

General principles of the family mediation

The voluntary step

The step is before any volunteer and the participants must agree on the process which implies them in the search for a positive dialog excluding any strategy gain-loser. The Law on the Divorce (2004) encourages the family mediation, and authorizes the judge, after agreement of the parts, to order with a couple to meet a mediator for a free maintenance (art 373-2-10 of the Civil code).

Course of the mediation

The family Médiateur must ensure the neutrality and the impartiality of the family mediation. As of the beginning a contract signed between the protagonists and the family mediator, by whom they are mutually committed respecting during all the process a certain number of attitudes: no the verbal aggression, total confidentiality, to listen to the other, to respect the other…

Role of the Mediator

The family mediator accompanies the family in moments by exacerbation of conflicts, to restore a dialog, to find agreements acceptable for itself, fascinating of account the interest of each one -- parents and children. When the family conflicts invade all the family, parents, children and close entourage, the distance necessary to achieve the various family roles can prove to be inaccessible. It then becomes difficult to reconcile the emotional, psychological and economic needs for each one. In the capacity as third, neutral because noncommitted in the conflict, the family mediator opens a space preliminary to the catch of distance, which facilitates a common reflection concerning the development of new methods of a family organization in change.

By its formation and its experiment, it is guaranteeing protective framework of the family mediation for médiés. The family mediator can have to stop a process of family mediation whose protagonists do not respect or more ethics (legal procedure in progress, permanent aggressiveness, obliteration of the other etc)

The conflict in Family Mediation

The conflict is generally what brings the people in Family Mediation. It is the reflection of the emergence of new interests which the people express through positions (I refuse that, I want that etc) If these positions as well as possible serve a priori the interests of the person who states them, they hide subjacent fears, needs and desires, difficult to express. It is with this work of decoding of the positions, that most of the process of family mediation will be devoted.

Advantages of the family mediation

• find-to create together a space of communication

• to support the development of agreements adapted to the needs for each one
• to develop a parental collaboration for the future: the coparentality
• to prevent the family dysfunctions
• to allow a better family communication

The agreement of mediation

At the conclusion of the process of mediation, the decisions taken will be able to be consigned in a draft-agreement or to remain oral. That will depend on the choices made by the protagonists. If this protocol or convention is written for a homologation by the JAF, it will have however to be written and Co-signed by médiés. Note: this request for homologation at the JAF can be seized apart from any procedure.

Thirds absent

The third absent in a mediation are the people who interact in family dynamics:

• the children
• the large parents
• the new couple
• any other person having her place in the " chart familiale"

The mediator can accommodate them during one or several meetings, after having evaluated the relevance of it and to be themselves assured the agreement of both médiés.

The time of the family mediation

Because it is a tool of self-determination the recourse to the family mediation is not always possible, even relevant, like in the case of imbalances of being able between the parts, when separation was not elaborate yet, in a psychic context of brittleness (depression, violences psychological or physics).

However, if the family mediation cannot take place now, its recourse can be considered later on.

Cost of the mediation

Two cases of figure arise: the mediator is paid of an association subsidized by the CIF or it is independent and its services are paid by the parts which call upon him.

• In the case of subsidized services, the family mediator is paid of a structure profiting from an approval CIF. The cost of the family mediation depends then on the family quotient of each médiées person.

• the service of the mediator is paid by the parts. Tariffing is free. For example, with the signature of the engagement of entry in mediation, the cost is defined with the mediator.

Family mediation during marital separations

The family mediation opens to the parents in conflicts a space in which they will be able to find together installations of the exercise of the joint parental authority which answer as well as possible of the interests of all.

Its public

The couples (grooms or not, pacsés) in situation of rupture or separation, families recomposed. The family mediation can be undertaken, constantly: front, during or after a rupture or a divorce. In the course of legal procedure, during a rupture (marriage or not), the judge can propose a mediation when the parents do not communicate any more or do not manage to get along on the consequences of separation: methods of the exercise of the joint parental authority, contribution to maintenance and education, place of residence of the children, right of access and lodging, liquidation of inheritance etc

The recourse to the family mediation is possible in all the types of divorce, separations in fact and the ruptures of cohabitation with children.

A step priorisant the interest of the children

The family mediation such as it is often practiced, under denominational obediences and psychology, is not neutral. She proposes an orientation a priori of the solution, centered on the child. She seeks to maintain the family ties and in a context of marital separation, to support the parentality beyond the marital rupture, by giving the priority to the interest of the child.

The family mediation is based on principles of autonomy, of responsibility and of self-determination of the parents and allows them to meet themselves fundamental needs, such as:

• to organize the methods of the Coparentalité

• to better communicate with the other
• to maintain or restore family solidarity and a parental dialog
• to preserve the rights of each one and in particular those of the children.
• to find agreements acceptable for each one

Legal family mediation

The Judge with the family businesses (JAF) can, after having collected the agreement of the parts, to propose it in the event of dissensions concerning the methods of exercise of the parental authority and the obligation of maintenance and education.

A convention, written agreement made between the protagonists during the mediation, comes to concretize the mutual agreements regulating the family reports/ratios. It will produce an effect of right only after homologation of the JAF, convention will have force then executory. For as much only the JAF allots the family matter right, conventions relate to only the methods of exercise of the right as regards parental authority, it is the principle of unavailability of the parental authority and the obligation of maintenance and education.

International family mediation

What characterizes the international family mediation it is, as in family mediation during marital separations, of the parents in conflicts as for the exercise of the parental authority, with here the characteristic relating to the nationality of the parents (sometimes of the children) and in certain cases, the illicit risk of displacement transborder children . In this particular context of intercultural differences, the mediator facilitates the construction of the direction around the marital one and the migratory trajectory.

Other specificity raises of the identification of all the actors present and absent, family or institutional, and of the place that médiés will grant to them in their international family mediation. Because in international family mediation the family mediator can have to work within pressures:

• legal: the protagonists can refer to the system of law of their country, characterized by a legal organization around actors, of expiries, of procedures, such as international lawyers and international conventions.

• diplomatic: the political context poses the margin of international negotiation.

See the Mission of assistance to the international mediation for the families (MAMIF) and the international agreements which are mentioned on its page of presentation.